Smiling Sabotage: When “Work Friends” Turn Into Emotional Landmines

“They pretend to love you now, then they hate you later.”

— Drake, Fake Love

Let’s talk about something real.

Not the HR-friendly version. Not the corporate tiptoeing.

But the gut-wrenching truth:

Sometimes, the biggest threats to your peace don’t come from the job, they come from the people you thought were on your side.

They laugh with you and create inside jokes, ask about your darkest secrets and cheer you on at their convenience.

But the minute your light grows a little too bright, their energy shifts.

What once looked like friendship starts to feel… off.

In the beginning, it feels like sisterhood. You bond over big trips, “weird” things that always just seem to happen, and your love for music. You share secrets. You feel safe.

But then something changes.

Your gut starts getting this feeling.

Your wins become their discomfort.

Your confidence starts being questioned and dimmed but small negative comments.

And the same person who once hyped you up starts mimicking your moves — while quietly tearing you down.

Let’s be real: this isn’t just tension.

This is what emotional sabotage looks like — dressed in a Lily Pulitzer and calling itself your “work bestie.”

“Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.”

— Drake

There’s a fine line between admiration and envy.

And in some workspaces, that line gets crossed behind closed doors.

Control Is the Currency

Here’s what no one tells you:

When people can’t control you, they’ll try to manipulate how others see you.

Suddenly, you’re:

• “Too controlling”

• “Only looking out for you”

• “Difficult to work with”

They don’t confront you, they reframe you.

They use charm in public and claws in private.

They play the victim in a story they wrote to make you the villain.

And somehow, you’re the one questioning yourself.

“I’m not crazy. I was just too real for the fake.”

— Unknown

This kind of toxicity doesn’t show up in performance reviews.

It doesn’t scream. It whispers.

It gaslights.

And it hurts in ways people outside the situation may never understand.

You start shrinking.

You overthink every message you send.

You second-guess your worth.

Let me say it loud: It’s not you.

You’re not overreacting. You’re not broken.

You’re being slowly unraveled in an environment that feeds on insecurity masked as mentorship.

Okay, breathe. Here’s what you can do when the fake smiles start to cut deep:

1. Trust your gut. If something feels off, it usually is. Stop giving people the benefit of the doubt at your own expense.

2. Document the nonsense. Save texts. Take notes. Keep receipts. Just in case.

3. Hold your boundaries. You don’t owe access to everyone — especially those who misuse it.

4. Find your safe spaces. Whether it’s a mentor, therapist, or real one outside the situation, talk about it.

5. Protect your peace at all costs. If the environment no longer supports your growth, it’s okay to outgrow it.

“I had to lose you to love me.”

— Selena Gomez

Some exits aren’t losses — they’re liberation.

The Bigger Truth

Here’s what’s really going on:

You dared to shine in a place that was built to keep you small.

You didn’t play the politics.

You didn’t shrink to make others feel taller.

You said no when they expected silence.

And that made you dangerous in all the best ways.

So they tried to dim you.

But listen closely:

You were never too much.

They were just too limited.

The Final Word

This isn’t just a story about petty coworkers or fake friendships.

This is a survival guide for women who are outgrowing environments that can’t handle their evolution.

So if this hit close to home — know this:

You’re not alone.

You’re not crazy.

And you’re absolutely worth protecting.

Your energy is sacred.

Your ambition is valid.

And your peace?

Non-negotiable.

Keep shining ✨ even when they try to dim your light.

I believe in you!